As a family with 6 boys in rural Ohio we had so many amusing things happen I had to record them. This is the 13th in the series.
Sickie
Sick time with kids is scary and sometimes funny. Adam, broken out in a rash to match his red hair, looked and felt very bad. I looked and felt very bad too when I discovered the medicine I was feeding him to cure the allergy was actually causing the allergy! The couch was where sick kids were placed, since it was difficult to climb into the top bunk with a bowl of chicken soup. If they were in the barf stage I fixed them a nice comfy bed in the bathtub. One day a feverish Frank was mumbling “I hear hot dogs walking across the floor” I just agreed and told him I’d keep them quiet.
The boys were seldom sick but when they were it was always the night I was supposed to be the speaker at a banquet or the night before we were to leave for vacation. Once Merle explode in red dots just hours before company was expected for dinner. I put up a sign on the door “Quarantine for distemper” but they came in anyway. When Scott started to recover from a flu event he tried to milk it for all it’s worth. “Mom, bring me some water”, “Can’t you get up and get it yourself?” “I’m a little dizzy” he says. “You should be, when I was in there a few minutes ago you were climbing back up the tree by your window.” B-U-S-T-E-D
As a family with 6 boys in rural Ohio we had so many amusing things happen I had to record them. This is the 12th in the series.
Does it Have a Motor?
Girls have dolls and boys have tools, if a boy gets his hands on a screwdriver you can be sure something is going to be dismantled. It’s great when they learn how to fix things, but why do they have to leave so MANY things in pieces, and blow all those fuses? A neighbor was working on his water heater and 7 year old Adam was taking it all in (including the blue language ). Finally he mumbled “Does it have a motor?” and ever since whenever something breaks we all say “Does it have a motor?” As they all took things apart they learned to mutate… the sweeper sported hair dryer parts, the wash machine had auto heater hose and the cars ….. oh my. The motors were dissected, transmissions arrayed on the front porch, dashes were furred and wheels were traded back and forth. During one major “overhaul” an 8 cylinder motor was set on an old riding mower frame temporarily. A new fuel oil deliveryman was filling our tank and kept looking at the motor… As he got ready to leave he said “Bet that will really fly when you fire it up.”
As a family with 6 boys in rural Ohio we had so many amusing things happen I had to record them. This is the 11th in the series.
Disappearing Things …………
In our house things had a way of disappearing; dish towels were secretly used to clean auto parts, dogs, muddy tennis shoes and some things I don’t want to know about …… then they vanished from the earth. Some of the boys were always building models and when they ran out of glue (every week) they would heat a steak knife and melt plastic parts together, so steak knives were very scarce. When I finally found all those blackened knives stashed under beds or stuffed inside bio-hazard dirty socks they were beyond salvaging.
Screwdrivers disappeared like ice in July and scissors were used instead. I never had scissors with points until all six left home. Out in the “wilderness” of Ohio they built a Fort. They dragged out a lamp (why did they need a lamp with no electricity?) a LazyBoy and various kitchen items. At that time I had to resort to flipping hamburgers with an ice scraper and draining macaroni with a pool skimmer. I’m sure the Fort held all those shirts they didnt like, the heirloom cup I never found, all 2200 dish towels and maybe Scotts gas powered helicopter. One day when he wasn’t home it went up, up and away ……. never to return.
With six boys they develop their own guidelines to “Uncool”. You don’t try to outrun the bull in the neighbors yard, you don’t tie the neighbors daughter to a tree, you don’t relieve yourself on an electric fence.
And then there was Frank …………….. his car door locked every time he shut the door, usually with the motor running. In the dark. In sub-zero weather. Then after fixing up a van to put in a van show he opened the side door to show off the interior to the judges and the door fell off. So uncool.
The chicken socks ……. 7 year old Merle had socks with checken feet printed on them, and one morning while dressing for work in the dark Frank grabbed those socks. When he took off his boots at the factory he got a big surprise, much to the amusement of all the other guys in the locker room. Public uncool.
A few other uncool things: You should always wear something under your graduation gown … Terry. You shouldn’t shoot out the security light twice in one week, electric company didn’t approve …. Adam. You don’t go back to school after setting up at the fair with beer cans in the truck …. Merle. You don’t sled down a hill with a creek at the bottom ….. uh, that was me.
dh
When there are kids around things get broken. Frank and a friend were chasing each other and one slammed the back door and the other kept going, right through the door window. Their bedroom window ….. it was seldom unbroken.
Scott painted a picture over it to hide all the cracks and I didn’t catch it for 2 years. Someone threw a shoe that shattered the huge aquarium in the kitchen and we all scurried around to scoop up guppies in teaspoons as they flopped around on the flooor trying to escape the cat who thought it was his private smorgasbord.
Scott collided with a tree on a Christmas toboggan and broke two ribs and the toboggan. Merle slid on the pool deck and imbedded a fish hook in his hand… and why was there a fish hook by the pool? Then Adam slid in the back yard and hit a broken metal stake and sliced his leg so bad he thought his “Guts” were coming out!!!
DH
